A Change in Routine...

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As you can imagine, it's been a week of changes for me. I always thought that change was a negative thing, but it's also an opportunity for the new and the different. But I'm a creature of habit and routine. So I'm feeling out of sorts because of these recent changes. It's not just grief, it's the interruption in routine.

Take for example my car, which fell apart a few weeks ago. It was finally carted away on Friday, after 11 years of hard work and 2 tons of memories.




I don't have a n-used one yet but I had to part with my routine and step out of my comfort zone. 
I was instantly flooded with memories.

Then there's my coffee maker...
I bought it 5 years ago to dress up a condo I was selling. It was $7 at Lowe's and I thought it would be great for staging.

It's been broken for over a month but I rigged it back together so that I could get my morning brew, and I would usually end up in a bad mood because of the mess it caused. So I threw it out (recycled it) and got a new one (no tears shed over that one!)







And the most devastating change....


not waking up to this sweet face like I have every day for 13 years.
Each morning 3 alarms chime in my home, but she was the only one that could wake me out of my deep slumber. I'm so used to taking her out, then getting my coffee, feeding her and giving her a treat before I leave that I've been stumbling around in my pjs running into walls.

My morning routine has almost completely changed.

We buried her in the yard on Wednesday morning and I made a pot of coffee in the new Mr. Coffee for my hard working friends.


And every morning since then, I've been waking up (if I ever sleep), making a cup of coffee, putting my boots on over my pajamas and heading to the yard...



"Hey kitten, it's Mommy. What do you want for breakfast? 
hope you don't mind, I gave away some of your things, including the car...
I'm gonna go dancing in a few days, if that's alright with you. Be a good girl today, okay?
luv, mommy."



clover is growing out there near my mom's japanese maple and abby's new bed. I plan to plant some flowers out there soon, but I kinda like the clover.


This is my new routine for now. Amidst all of the changes I'm so grateful for friends and family who have helped and encouraged me to 'get busy livin'.

I'm busy re-arranging the den and clearing out things I don't need anymore.
I plan to replace my camera soon, start focusing on my blog more and making regular, happier posts every Saturday,
and smiling again.


this one always makes me giggle... looks like the silly bed head is saying: 
'momma, I just woke up and I'm hungry!'

:-)

Comments

Bonnie said…
I can so appreciate your car story. My own was recently injured when a deer hit me. They are using the word totaled, but I am still waiting for confirmation. Your days will get easier. Five years later and I still look for Tallie to pop up on the back door whenever I drive in, but not with as much sadness as with remembrance. Hugs to you! Bonnie
November 8, 2011 at 2:04 PM
Glorious said…
Thanks Bonnie. I cried again tonight when I got home. It happened exactly a week ago and no matter how I mask it or spin it I still miss her terribly. I would sit my purse and lunch bag down when I would get home so I could pick her up and greet her. When I would put her down she would stick her head in my purse and lunch bag like "what'd you bring me?" Then as I got changed and started dinner, she'd sit in the doorway to the kitchen, patiently sniffing the air.

I just want to wake up from this bad dream but I know it will get better.
November 8, 2011 at 8:39 PM
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