finding delight in the mundane since 1936


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Remembering the Perfect Day on a Very Sad One.

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful remember that before you get me. 
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me. 
3. Place your trust in me- it is crucial to my well being. 
4. Do not be angry at me for long, and do not lock me up as punishment. 
5. You have your work, your entertainment,and your friends. I only have you. 
6. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understands your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me. 
7. Be aware that how ever you treat me, I will never forget. 
8. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily hurt you, but I choose not to bite you because I love you. 
9. Before you scold me for being uncooperative,obstinate,or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I might not be getting the right food, or I have been out to long, or my heart is getting to old and weak. 
10. Take care of me when I get old; you too will grow old. 
Go with me on difficult journeys. 
Never say: "I cannot bear to watch" or "Let it happen in my absence." 
Everything is easier for me if you are there, even my death. Remember that I love you.

My Fur child had cancerous mass on her spleen that had spread to her liver, which was diagnosed a month ago so I wanted to give her the Perfect Day.

Jon Katz wrote an article on the Perfect Day: based on his book
4 weeks ago I prepared her favorite meals (pretty much anything that I eat, except for salad!), we went to the drive-thru at Starbucks and she got a pup-a-chino, which she loved. We went to the lake and walked on the beach, and I carried her for a bit. We rode thru the country with the windows down and had snacks all along the way. When we got home we took a long nap and had an early dinner. Then we Skyped her cousins to say goodbye.

Last Night I gave her a bath in warm water and spoke softly to her. As I did, her eyes rolled back in her head and she started to fall over (I didn't know if it was a seizure or if she just felt completely relaxed and was falling asleep). I scooped her up in a towel and held her until she seemed coherent. I then dried her fur off and rubbed her badly swollen belly. "Momma's just getting you clean and pretty so you can go see Nana" I said, "Just tell her that I love you both very much". This morning she seemed fine, though she refused to eat and needed some assistance outside. When I gave her a treat, I told her that she was a very good girl.

When I got home from work she was on her side, with the untouched treat right next to her. It breaks my heart that I was not at home when it happened. I shouldn't have gone to work this morning.

This 13 year old ball of fur has been my constant companion for all but 2 months of her entire life.
I wish I could have read her mind.
Perhaps she'd tell me she needs to rest.

A friend loves at all times (Ps 17:17). She was a very good friend, indeed.

You made me happy
This you can bet
You sat right beside me
And I won't forget

And I really love you
You should know
I wanna make sure I'm right, girl
Before I let go

This is how I'll remember you, my super hero. Go to sleep my sweet love.

This message has given me some comfort:

"When God is Late (part 3)"


Megan said...

You just made me cry. I had to put my big guy don in January after we found an extremely large cancerous tumor in his stomach. We knew something could happen at any minute but he was living at my parents on their farm, 30 minutes from the closest vet. Sooo... we chose to put him down so he could be more comfortable. Hardest thing I had to watch ever... well, second, after watching my brother die of cancer... but you know. It was something I had CHOSEN to do but knew it had to happen before died an uncomfortable death. I'm sorry for your loss!

Anonymous said...

Alysa, I am so sorry about Abby, I don't know the pain you are going thru but I can imagine. I lost my dog when I was a child and its a hard thing to get over, but GOD and time heals all wounds. Don't worry about you not being there, sometimes GOD knows how much pain we can bear. I was there when my dog died and it was painful to watch Torra suffer. I pray that GOD will heal your heart and open it for another friend and love. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions.

Maria said...

Alysa - this is truly beautiful! What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful pet!

Shirlt said...

There must be a heaven for the animal friends we have.
They are not human beings, yet they bring out our humanity;
sometimes in ways that people cannot.
They do not worry about fame or fortune;
instead they bring our hearts nearer
to the joy of simple things.
Each day they teach us little lessons
in trust and steadfast affection.
Abby is in heaven, playing and running

Bonnie said...

I am so sorry! I sit here reading your lovely post with tears running down my cheeks. I know your pain and sorrow. I held my little angel in my arms throughout the night. I could not bear for her to die while I was asleep. She didn't die. My vet told me she had held on so I would not be alone when she died. I, too, had to go to work after taking her to the vets office. A sick animal is not an excuse for getting a last minute substitute teacher. I do believe our sweet babies' spirits linger to help us through this hard time. And I truly believe these angels will greet us in heaven. The last thing I said to Tallie was it is time to go chase all those squirrels in heaven. And I believe that is exactly what she is doing. Hugs and prayers that you will find peace in the days to come.

Jan said...

What a beautiful testimony to a wonderful friend.

My husband's 'best fur friend' was in late stage kindney failure this fall. My husband was inconsolable, but knew it was time to let Arnie go peacefully and gently.

It was not to be. On October 8, 2011, my 53 year old husband died suddenly of a heart attack. On Monday, October 10, my sons and I held Arnie as he took his last breath.

Best friends, forever.

Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for making one dog's life very happy.


glorystory said...

Thanks so much for your sweet and heartfelt condolences. After wandering around in my pjs for 3 days, I can say that I'm finally not a basket case.
@Megan, I'm so sorry about your dog AND your Heartbreaking! And you too Jan, I can't imagine the pain that you must be facing. Your husband and his best friend are no longer limited by earthly bodies.
Bonnie, sounds like you cared for your Tallie til the very end, as I know Maria and Shirl T. did also.

Each one of you has encouraged me so much. Like my Abby, your words will not be forgotten.